Here, I have taken some fine old Tom Swifties and updated them.
Enemy Within: "It's normal to have two personalities in one" McCoy said frankly.
Operation Annihilate!: "There are approximately one-million, five hundred and twenty-six thousand individuals in the swarm." Spock recounted.
Shore Leave: "So this weird planet is really a sophisticated amusement park? Shore leave for everybody!" Kirk said playfully.
Empath: "Here's a woman who's completely mute!" McCoy said dumbfoundedly.
Patterns Of Force: "Forward... march! "Ein, zwei, drei, fünf," said Kirk fearlessly.
All Our Yesterdays: "I'm vegetarian, but in this frozen climate I'm forced to eat meat" Spock said fruitlessly.
Catspaw: "This funny-looking guy with the magic wand must be our host" Kirk guessed.
Piece Of The Action: "In fizzbin, you only use diamonds, clubs and spades" said Kirk heartlessly.
Where No Man Has Gone Before: "Gary Mitchell kidnapped Elizabeth Dehner" said Kirk mistakenly.
Is There In Truth No Beauty: "I barely caught a glimpse of Kollos" Spock peeped.
What Are Little Girls Made Of?: "Both me and my android double are naked!" Kirk rebuffed.
This Side Of Paradise: "I inhaled spores from that strange plant!" Spock snorted.
Wrath Of Khan: "I suppose I'll have to get used to wearing reading glasses" Kirk speculated.
Amok Time: "I made this Plomeek soup by hand, from scratch" Nurse Chapel said uncannily.
Naked Time: "One Irishman is as good as two of anybody else" said Riley wryly.
City On The Edge Of Forever: "Miss Keeler, look at that really bright star up there" Kirk said seriously.
Journey To Babel: "The doctor had to remove my left ventricle" Sarek said half-heartedly.
Conscience Of The King: "Sure, there's room aboard for you and your whole theater troop" Kirk admitted.
Immunity Syndrome: "Aye, Captain, I fired the probe" Sulu assented.
Where No Man Has Gone Before: "I finally got around to reading longhair stuff like Voltaire" Mitchell said candidly.
Dagger Of The Mind: "This therapeutic chair is supposedly only used to reform violent criminals." Dr. Helen Noel said conceitedly.
Who Mourns For Adonais?: "The day of Greek deities is over" Kirk deadpanned.
Devil In The Dark: "It sure is dark down here in these tunnels" Kirk said delightedly.
Space Seed: "I'm going to paint a portrait of Khan" Marla McGivers decided easily.
Tomorrow Is Yesterday: "At the last possible second, I hit the ejector-seat button" Captain Christopher explained.
Trouble With Tribbles: "Captain, can I go back to my quarters and read my technical journals yet?" Scotty asked periodically.
Plato's Stepchildren: "They took away our trousers and forced us to wear these revealing, short tunics" Kirk said expansively.
Devil In The Dark: "We're going to help the Horta to protect her eggs" Kirk said honestly.
The Naked Time: "Spock... why, at the peak of the crisis, are we locked alone in a room together, slapping each other around like a couple of hysterical girls and bitching about relationship issues?" Kirk queried.
Piece Of The Action: "The radio reception has suddenly improved" Uhura said ecstatically.
The Deadly Years: "I'm losing my hair!" old Kirk bawled.
Spock's Brain: "I seem, among things, to be circulating air like crazy" Spock said fanatically.
The Enemy Within: "We've got to keep this fire burning, no matter what!" Sulu bellowed.
Mudd's Women: "This Rigillian wind storm is something awful!" Kirk blustered.
City On The Edge Of Forever: "My friend and I stole these clothes" Kirk corroborated.
Shore Leave: "Forget that lady android, I'm going to conjure up Finnegan again" said Kirk ruthlessly.
Who Mourns For Adonais?: "Apollo went from being human-sized to being three stories high" Kirk said gruesomely.
Final Frontier: "I like to go camping with you, Spock" Kirk said intently.
Devil In the Dark: "Our odds are approximately 3.14159265 to one" Spock said piously.
Day Of The Dove: "Beautiful claymore, but it wants sharpening" Mr. Scott stated bluntly.
The Apple: "What delicious fruit!" Kirk applauded.
Taste Of Armageddon: "Are you all governors?" Kirk asked, bored.
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