(To the tune of The Star-Spangled Banner)
By Laura Goodwin

Look up there in the sky! It's the brave Enterprise They're the starship to call When your crisis is looming: When your planet's on fire; When you've raised Klingon's ire; When your plague is at peak, Or your birth-rate is booming! Who among us will say - While they're saving the day - That anyone cares That the Captain is Gay? Just know we'll be saved once the Starship Enterprise has passed... And you homophobes out there Can all KISS JIMMY'S ASS!

(A hero is a hero, even if he's Gay, right?)