Now You Know
McCoy is a surgeon superb,
There's one rumor it's now time to curb...
One of life's great unknowns -
Why he's called Doctor "Bones":
It's not a noun, it's a verb.
Mr. Scott found some time for his lassie
And was making her wail like a Banshee.
Then the transporter stalled:
Mr. Scott's duty called,
So he left her to get off Scott-free
Naked Came The Navigator
In his own sexy fantasy dreams
Sulu is a great swordsman it seems:
"All for one, one for all!"
His voice rings in the hall -
All _for him_ is what he really means.
He's Not Made Of Stone
Take a look at the lovely Uhura
Think the Captain would do her? Why, sure-a!
Even if Kirk is Gay,
They'd still roll in the hay,
'Cause she has such a sexy allure-a.
Don't Tell, Don't Ask
Mirror Spock is a keen intellectual
And his snooping proved very effectual
But he scarcely believed
How they'd all been deceived:
Jim's a closeted ~heterosexual~!
He'd Rather See Them Going Than Coming
Harry Mudd had brought three sexy lasses.
Mr. Spock, he was making no passes...
But when they were done talkin',
And then they got to walkin',
Captain Kirk caught Spock watching their asses.
Troi noticed that Tasha was glowing...
She asked why, and Yar started crowing,
"Data's a dream,
A real sex machine!"
Now guess where we saw Riker going?
Data has triple the toil
Since his social life came to a boil.
His erector set
Is so constantly wet,
He needs sitz baths in 40 weight oil!
Data's Naked Now Limerick, Completed
There once was a lady from Venus
Who's body was shaped like a genus
of mollusk (a clam)
and sticky like jam...
And she got sick once she had ~seen us~!
Sisko's a neurotic male,
And Odo is pasty and pale,
But that doesn't explain
On the whole, in the main,
Why only Quark gets any tail!
One time Odo decided that Quark
Would be OK to fuck as a lark.
Quark looks really icky,
But Odo's not picky
As long as the room's really dark!
That vixen called 7 of 9
Decided to ply Kes with wine.
Kes downed one whole glass
Then 9 grabbed her ass
And said, "OK, bitch, now you're mine!"
Kes looks like the delicate one
But when 9 tried to use her for fun
She kicked and she fought
And she hurt 9 a lot
And she screamed until 7 was done.
7 of 9 is too haughty,
And trying to rape Kes is naughty...
But Kes was impressed:
Once 9 got her undressed
She was suddenly feeling so hottie.
Enterprise has some brand-new marines
And we know they'll be feeling their beans:
Well, they'll need to be told...
T'Pol's bumps they behold...
Well, they really aren't breasts: they're canteens.
Doctor Phlox and his wives, after dark,
Have a life that must out-kinky Quark
Each wife has three guys,
And each guy has three wives...
I wonder, where do they all park?
While aboard the Xyrillian ship
Tucker somehow found time to unzip
As the aliens found
The guy gets around
Which is probably why he's called "Trip"