Big Bang

Captain Kirk's favorite stroke fantasies
Star himself in big love "Jimborees".
He'd love to be feted,
And fucked, and fellated
By whole crowds of hot sex devotees.

Knock, Knock...

Captain Kirk likes to mess with men some...
He will also fuck girls 'til they're numb.
He's a generous guy
Which is probably why
When you knock on his door he says "Come!"

You Don't Have To Twist His Arm

Spock has melded with things like a Horta -
Was it always platonic? Well, sorta.
When defenses are down
Juicy bits do abound
And tuning them out's not his forta.

If You Judge, Judge Righteously

Captain Kirk was court martialed one time
For the Captain to grab ass is a crime
But he got acquitted
His "victims" admitted
They lined up, their Captain to climb.

Timing Is Everything

"Mr. Spock is a sexpot!" Kirk thought
And he wanted to fuck Spock, a lot!
But Spock wasn't buyin'.
But Kirk, who kept tryin'
Got struck when the Vulcan was hot.

Poor T'Pring!

There once was a gal named T'Pring
Who was to wear Spock's wedding ring
But when he got the fever
He picked up to leave her
'Cause he and Kirk started a T'hing.

That Slippery Slope

1) Spock felt the old fire in his blood...
2) Kirk hated to lose his best bud...
3) There was this big fight...
4) Someone doused the light...
5) Kirk learned that Spock's really a stud!

SVM, Seeks Someone With Pulse

Mr. Spock thought his Captain was dead
And his heart was as heavy as lead
But with Jimmy revived
His lust came alive
And his prick became leaden instead!

So Horny, The Crack Of Dawn Looked Good

When Spock was as cool as a stone
It was easy to leave Kirk alone
When touched by the fire
He then felt desire
And joyfully threw Jim a bone.

How It Began

Spock and Kirk, in a Vulcan mind meld,
Revealed secret passions they held
Spock's hot thoughts of sodomy
Make Kirk feel all "bottomy"
And that's how that silly mess jelled.

Oh, Doctor?

"I'm a doctor, not a veterinarian!"
Can he help? We don't really think he can.
Spock's jaw locked
While sucking Kirk's cock
And we thought he was a vegetarian!

Sauce for the Gander

For some folks it's kind of a shock
The way Kirk is cheating on Spock
But Spock is not jealous
Indeed he is zealous
To lick pussy off of Jim's cock.

Congratulations: Another Son

Spock's mother Amanda saw red,
When she caught her boy giving Kirk head.
Spock told her to chill:
Sucking cock filled the bill,
And he'd rather be Gay than be dead.

The Scuttlebutt

Captain Kirk is a fellow from Earth
Who is famous for sharing his berth
With his rough Vulcan beau...
And he thinks we don't know...
Which is, frankly, the cause of some mirth.

Party Of One

Spock knows all about copulation,
But that isn't his top fascination.
Fellatio's nice,
But his primary vice
Is that Earth custom called masturbation.

Doesn't Mean He's Gay

Captain Jim is a hard one to pass
He's a magnet for every cute lass
But Spock knows that Kirk
Has one little quirk:
He loves to be fucked in the ass.

It'll Kill A Dull Afternoon

Kirk and Spock, on an alien moon
Found their sweet asses one day marooned
But they didn't mind
They just sixty-nined
And hoped that help wouldn't come soon!

Always First To The Bridge

Red Alert! And it's no time to stick
Time to pick up your gun not your prick
Poor Kirk, he just hides
'Til his hardon subsides
Spock has a retractable dick.

Boyz N Their Toyz

Kirk and Spock love each other it's true
But they also like women...they do!
Kirk is a breast man
Spock takes the rest, man.
Then together they bid them adieu.

While Making The Rounds

Scotty found out just who's in cahoots
(In the Jeffries tube, in nothing but boots)
He caught Kirk and Spock
In a Vulcan lip-lock
Thought, "The Captain is feeling his oots!"

It's Showtime, Folks!

Captain Kirk is a popular guy
But he also rents whores on the sly
And he'll never pause it
While Spock's in the closet
(Who's there 'cause he wanted to spy).

Hailing Frequencies Open

Kirk keeps his sexy bod lean.
He is always so close-cut and clean.
After one or two drinks
Commander Spock thinks,
"He is ~really~ a *fierce* khaki queen!"

Master And Servant

James Kirk: Captain of the ship
In public, Spock gives him no lip
But behind the closed door
Jim is Spock's whore
Throwing his First Mate some hip.

The Right Stuff

To be Captain, you've got to be tough
Living life on the edge can be rough
Mr. Spock is Kirk's "Daddy":
When Jim is his laddie,
He can hardly spank Jimmy enough!

Back, With The Breeze

A Halloween guise, while you wear it,
Says much about you if you dare it.
Spock and Kirk WON'T appear
In appropriate gear:
"Red Buttman" and "Scarlett O'Barett".

How Bad Would That Be, Really?

The fight stopped with both on the brink
Kirk shrugged it all off in a blink
"It isn't that big.
What if we're in the brig?"
Long pause. Then Spock said, "Let me think!"

Tying Up Loose Ends

They didn't mind his and Spock's little quirk,
But the Vulcans had questions for Captain Kirk:
"Now you're mated for life
Which of you is the wife?"
(They just needed to finish some paperwork)

Making Up Is Agréable To Do

Kirk and Spock sometimes fight, whereupon
They are quick to arrange rapprochement
When, behind the closed door
Le langage de l'amour
Is a tasty, French-style denouement.