Kirk Is No Ladies Man

by Laura Goodwin

K/Sers meet their strongest opposition in people who have personal reasons for imagining Kirk as a heterosexual swordsman. Why? Because that's their fantasy, that's why.

Kirk is often wrongly characterized as a kind of James Bond in Space. You know, a phaser in his hand and a girl in his bed...a new girl every week. In fact, this is a myth. James Kirk has less in common with James Bond than Felix-the-cat has with Fritz-the-cat.

There are a couple of vague hints dropped that Kirk has a reputation of being a ladykiller. You don't have to be guilty to be accused. It is possible to get a reputation that is undeserved.

While at the academy Kirk was mercilessly teased by Finnegan, and Kirk said of himself at that time that he was "a stack of books with legs -positively grim". Gary Mitchell said the same thing about Kirk - that he appeared in those days like a stack of books with legs. Sound like a ladies man?

Kirk has always been fanatical about his career, and more than once we are reminded of his passionate dedication to his duty. Sound like a ladies man?

The one relationship in Kirk's life that demands the most of him and nourishes him the most is his ferociously devoted "friendship" with Spock. Spock, Spock, Spock! Sound like a ladies man?

I know it can spoil your enjoyment to analyze art too much, but it really is necessary sometimes. I had to analyze Kirk's activities with female characters in TOS to fully understand both why I think K/S is plausible, and why it angers me when people talk about him like he was getting laid in every episode, as if Star Trek was nothing but *The Kirk Gets Laid Show*.

Kirk gets laid by all the girls - in people's dreams. There are a lot of people who seem strongly motivated to see him that way, but that tells you more about them than it does about his character, or the show.

Kirk was *not* a playboy who porked every female in sight. This myth is very damaging because it's a malignant distortion that misses the point of Kirk completely. Kirk actually is very respectful of women and he takes them seriously. He takes love seriously. He does not play fast and loose with women's hearts. That's what he should be famous for.

Spock possibly got laid as much as Kirk did, but do people call him a playboy? No, they don't.

Kirk does not go for bimbos, and he does not pork one new girl every episode. He was shown to be capable of love and commitment. We saw him kiss a few women, we saw him flirt a few times, but he fell in love only rarely, and then only with truly outstanding women.

He was not always getting laid. He actually got laid in TOS only twice. He pushed women away more often than he embraced them. All the evidence anyone needs for proof is available for their viewing pleasure.

Men fantasize about what they would do if they were Kirk. If they were as attractive to women, they would run barefoot through all the lovelies who lined up. That's what THEY would do. Lots of the TOS women are attracted to Kirk, but that doesn't mean that he welcomes their attention.

He doesn't actually ever successfully seduce a woman into bed even once. Not in TOS, and not in the movies. Not once. The only times he got laid were situations when he wasn't in command of the situation.

He sometimes uses seduction as a way of getting a leg up on an enemy woman, but that's just using one of his assets as a weapon in a tough situation. BTW, he never took it all the way with those women.

Kirk likes to flirt, likes to dance with women, so what? So what? How many times have you flirted or danced where nothing ever came of it? Flirt or dance with somebody, and that automatically means you next take a tumble? Even if that is true for you, it's not that way with most people. Most flirtation never comes to anything. Most flirtation is as safe as milk.

Kissing is not the same as fucking, or else kissing your mother would be equivalent to fucking your mother.

Why *are* women all over Kirk? Well, when you are very attractive, and when on top of that you have status and power, you get a lot of offers. That doesn't mean that you automatically accept all the offers. You get enough offers, until you get sick of them. Kirk is the kind of guy who is *not hungry* for attention. He gets plenty. He's NOT DESPERATE. Therefore, he doesn't act desperate, except in those rare cases where he honestly feels strong desire for a particular, special, adored woman. Those *rare* women are not bimbos. They are outstanding in some way, and often in several ways. Kirk is too proud to mess around with substandard women. He'd rather go without, than waste time with a common sort of woman, and he does.

I'm not saying he never got laid, it just didn't happen every episode, nor did it happen anywhere near as much as many people like to believe. That he got it on with Deela in Wink of an Eye is undisputed. He certainly was capable of enjoying sexual relations with women. He got his wife Mirimanee pregnant. He was attracted to a woman several times, so yes, he does like women.

That's why the people who say Kirk and Spock are purely Gay exclusively are wrong. Both Kirk and Spock enjoy the rare romp with a woman. The most you can safely assert is that they might both be, to some degree, bisexual.

I have met more than one man who dated women, even married and had kids, who then later went Gay. It does happen. Some men who consider themselves Gay still can enjoy a rare romp with a special woman. That's why saying Kirk and Spock sometimes get with girls is not enough to debunk the claim that they are Gay. The K/S scenario does have merit, and it does have lots of solid supporting canon evidence to back it up.

Most of Kirk's affairs and infatuations were only hinted at. For those who say that hinting is enough to establish that there was a sexual relationship, there are many more, *stronger* hints that Kirk and Spock are deeply intimate, than that Kirk was a heterosexual swordsman.

Many women showed interest in Jim, but it looks like he was just humoring many of them. He experimented with flirting, dancing, kissing a few of them. Nothing came of it. He did put his hands on almost every woman guest-star TOS had, but it may be demonstrated that *that* means nothing at all: Kirk grabs everybody. He's just a grabby guy.

Kirk grabs Spock more than any other person you can name. That act doesn't mean much, except to people who think grabbing somebody means something.

Who is the single most important person in Kirk's life? Spock. Their "friendship" is deeply devoted, mutually beneficial, withstands incredible trials, and spans decades. Even Spock's death doesn't keep them apart.

Sound like a ladies man? I don't think so.


All site contents Copyright L. Goodwin 1990 - 2002

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