He has clearly laid claim to a place in Spock's life. It doesn't have to be the central place, but you can bet your butt it's a prime piece of real estate. He wouldn't put a fence around it, but you better believe he'll patrol the borders and will always challenge trespassers.
He'd have some pretty firm ideas about the kind of lady that he'd like to see with Spock. First of all, she'd have to be a respectable lady with a hell of a lot on the ball. Second, she better be good-lookin'. Jim wouldn't be able to stomach watching Spock keep company with a woman who was an embarrassment.
He also would insist that the lady have pure motives. He is in a position to know how vulnerable Spock is to being manipulated and used by someone he loves. Jim fights the temptation to misuse Spock's bottomless love all the time - he really struggles with that. He would never allow any woman to exploit Spock.
Spock would agree with Jim that making room for a woman in his life is a positive goal, but he has some pretty peculiar ideas of his own about what sort of woman might prove ideal, and they don't match Jim's perfectly. For one thing, Spock has different ideas about what is "good lookin'". Jim always insists his own women be of a rare and very specific body type, but Spock is very much more broadminded than Jim about what is beauty. For Spock, how a woman looks isn't half as important as how she makes him feel. Most of the women who showed interest in Spock (beautiful or not) gave him the creeps: Nurse Chapel (a real weirdo), Lila Kalomi (a fetishist), Droxine (a tourist), Zarabeth (just plain desperate)...and so forth. Spock is rational enough to acknowledge that he's unlikely to hook up with a human woman who *isn't* a queer duck, but he would like to be convinced that she genuinely is in love with him, at least. A modest wish, but for poor Spock this is proving to be a tall order.
The guys would agree to experiment with getting a woman in the middle, for many reasons, not the least among them being that it's easier for Spock to get laid if he promises Jim will be involved. Jim is a handsome and charismatic man who is popular with women, and he knows how to get what he wants from them. He could more easily convince a girl to come along with him and his pal for a wild joyride, than Spock could convince her to go with him alone for heaven knows what, and it would be his pleasure to make that happen for Spock, IMHO.
Spock would enjoy three-ways with Jim and their Belle Du Jour, largely because when Jim is there, everybody has fun. Jim would be there to negotiate with the woman, guide and encourage Spock, and see to it that everything runs smoothly. Jim knows how to act and what to say in these situations, and his sexual confidence and genius at improvisation would prove really useful for Spock, who's a smart fella but still a bit socially retarded, especially in the intimate arena.
If Spock encountered a woman who was less than perfect but at least perfectly sincere, he'd be hard-pressed to find reasons to discourage her. Every time we have seen his composure crack, his need for acceptance can be glimpsed through the crack, and it resembles a raw, aching wound. He needs love so damn bad, poor Spock! That's why he clings to Jim Kirk like a man washed overboard clings to a plank of wood. Jim Kirk loves Spock, and Spock really appreciates it! Jim's love is an oasis in the desert for him.
Anybody's love would be an oasis for him. He's not picky. He probably wouldn't prefer to weather Pon Farr with a man for a bride, but he can certainly make his peace with it, if that is what fate has offered him. BUT! If he could have Jim's love and an alluring woman's too, what the heck! He'd go for it! He likes women fine, it's finding one that likes him that's been the problem.
I believe his strongest bond would continue to be with Jim. Jim wouldn't have to worry about Spock's continuing loyalty. Jim would worry, though. He would especially worry if Spock's chosen girlfriend didn't measure up (in his eyes) to his own stringent standards.
Without realizing he was doing it, Jim would interpose himself between Spock and any woman whom Jim felt wasn't worthy of Spock, and the ultimate outcome would be that Spock would have many chances for erotic experience, but few chances to get serious with a woman. They might even have a falling out over it, since Spock would eventually understand that if he is to make a relationship with a woman whom he feels is perfectly suitable (by his own standards), he has to do it (not only without Jim's help but) out of Jim's sight completely.
Obviously, Jim would not approve of this. He thinks he's protecting Spock, and that Spock is destined to choose poorly for himself. That's what he *consciously* thinks. Subconsciously, Jim is jealous of Spock and doesn't really want him to get serious about any woman, for fear he'll lose his precious, privileged piece of Spock's life and heart.
Jim is a lonely guy too. He really cherishes his fantastic, intimate relationship with the spectacular Mr. Spock and can't bear to risk it. His real, but subconscious, reason for getting involved in three-ways with Spock would be to manage and control Spock's curiosity about the opposite sex. This way they both can have their cake and eat it too (which is something Kirk never misses a chance to do).
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