These are the adventures of James Kirk, polymorphous pervert ~of the future~!
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Kirk: "Hell, YES I have questions! What ever gave you idiots the idea that me and my people would go along with this dog-and-pony show of yours!?"
Shanah: "From now on you will speak to me in a manner that is more respectful, or you will be punished. Do you have other questions?"
Kirk: "Fuck yes I have..."
[Kirk is punished with a prolonged zap to the brain via his thrall collar]
Kirk (screaming): "AGGGGGGGhhhhh!"
[Kirk writhes in pain, claws at collar]
Shanah (serenely): "I warned you about your tone. Try again: do you have more questions for me?"
Kirk (panting): "Yeah...I mean, yes Ma'am! So, uh, are you the one who's going to be feeding me this slop on a regular basis?
Shanah: "That is correct. If the nourishment provided is not to your taste we will try to accomodate you."
Kirk (craftily): "How about if you breastfeed me? I'd really prefer that... ::screams:: AGGGGGGGhhhhh!"
[Kirk writhes in pain...]
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Galt: "We are going to have to make an example of you. To teach you to be more humble and respectful, thrall Jim, you will now be horsewhipped within an inch of your life while your companions watch."
Kirk: "What? Like this? Arncha even gonna tie my hands?"
Galt: "Good idea. Yes, you will be horsewhipped, and to make you even more vulnerable and helpless you must endure this with your hands tied behind your back."
[Kirk's hands are bound]
Kirk: "That's just great. Oh well, I guess I asked for it. Hey, wait, you gonna whip me fully clothed? You should untie me long enough to take my clothes off."
Galt (becoming exasperated): "No, now that you are tied we are NOT going to untie you again just to remove your clothes. Don't be such a pest. That's exactly why you are getting whipped in the first place!"
Kirk: "Do I get a last request? How about a kiss for luck, Uhura?
Uhura (pitying): "Yes, all right, Captain." :::smooch:::
Kirk (wolfishly): "Mmm, thanks Uhura! Hey! Did I ever tell you what nice tits you have?"
[Uhura slaps Kirk, hard]
Kirk (exhilarated): "OK, Uhura! I guess I deserved that. Well, let's get ON with this fuckin' game!"
[Kirk winks at Shanah]
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Kirk: "Nyah, nyah! Hey! You couldn't whip the broad side of a barn! What, are ya blind!? I'm over here! Whoops, no, now I'm over here! Sorry, moved again! Boy, you sure are slow! And you're stupid and ugly too! Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me! Wanna kiss me PUSSY!? Huh? You do, huh FAGGOT! You gotta catch me first! Hey, what are you dancin' around for? You gotta go pee-pee? Does ums gotta go make wee-wee? Why don't you just wet your pants like usual, ya big baby!? Huh? Oh, make you mad? Well why don't cha whip me then!?" ::dodges:: Isn't that what we're here for ya stupid fuck!? Whip me! Whip me! Missed again!? God, you are USELESS!
Thug (sniffling): "Do I hafta keep tryin' to whip him, boss? He's making me upset! I don wanna do him no more!"
Galt: "That's all right. You can stop. We'll obviously have to try something else."
Kirk: "Try a GAG, you amateurs! Jeez, why do I have to be the one who always thinks of everything!?"
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Kirk: "Ms. Shanah, Ma'am, may I ask you some questions if I'm real nice about it?"
Shanah (warily): "Well, all right."
Kirk: "Who's the prettiest drill-thrall on the whole planet!?"
Shanah (puzzled): "I...I'm not sure what you mean!"
Kirk: "The answer, Ms. Shana, is 'I Am!'"
Shanah (flummoxed): "You are?"
Kirk: "No Ms. Shana! YOU are! You are the prettiest drill-thrall on the whole planet!"
Shanah (softening): "Th-thank you, I think!"
Kirk: "And who's the thrall who'd do anything to make you happy, Ms. Shanah?"
Shanah: "Who?"
Kirk: "I am! I'm the thrall that would do anything whatsoever to make you happy! Even have wild, crazy sex with you right here...if you ordered me too!"
Shanah (intrigued): "Wild-crazy-sex? What is that!?"
Kirk (seductively): "Just ask me to teach you! I'd love to teach you all about it!" [Kirk kisses, caresses her] I can be a very sexy teacher, and you could be a very sexy student, if you want to be!
Shanah (aroused): "Yes! Yes! I'd like that! I want to know all about wild-crazy-sex!"
Kirk (panting): "Oh, baby, baby, I am gonna do you like you have never been done before!"
Shanah (panting too): "I never have been done before! Do me! Do me!"
Galt (dryly): "Do me too, while you are at it. I haven't been done in years."
Kirk (still panting): "Fuck! You startled me, Galt old pal! Look, are you serious?"
Galt (intrigued): "What, you mean you really WOULD do me?"
Kirk (smiling encouragingly): "Hell yes! Have a seat! I'll sit on your dick, and Mon Belle Ami can straddle my lap and bounce!"
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Provider: "Hold everything, thrall Jim! We have other plans for you!"
Kirk: "What? Who said that!?"
Provider: "We are the Providers: disembodied brains that run everything. The thralls belong to us, and they are only supposed to do what WE say!"
Kirk: "Sez who!?"
Provider: "We, the Providers sez, that's who sez."
Kirk: "Oh, big boss brains, big, big baddies! Big cowards, more like! Show yourselves! I wanna talk to you man to graymatter, right red-hot now!"
[Kirk finds himself instantly transported to the Provider's secret hideout]
Provider: "Here we are, smart-ass, what you wanna say to our lobes that you couldn't say where you were!?"
[Kirk prsses his nose against the Provider's plastic bubble]
Kirk: "Look, I'll make a deal with you. I'll be a real nice slave, instead of a big troublemaker, if you just let my other people go!"
Spock: "Captain, that would be quite unacceptable!"
Kirk (amazed): "SPOCK!? You can hear this!?"
Spock: "Yes, WE can see and hear everything since the Providers have been broadcasting the whole embarrassing spectacle to demoralize us. Captain, instead of throwing your life away with both hands, I have a perfectly practical and reasonable suggestion: an alternative solution that will probably please everyone..."
Kirk (quickly): "Shut UP, Spock! We ~always~ hear from you! Give somebody ELSE a chance for once! Does anybody ELSE have a good idea!?"
[silence]
Kirk: "Well THERE! You see my dilemma! Now let me alone so I can handle this my way!"
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Shanah: "The Providers apparently didn't realize they couldn't own you because you already belonged to Provider Spock. I guess this is goodbye, thrall Jim. Why did you not tell us you were already owned?"
Kirk: "Shanah... Provider Spock is really, really mean to me. I wish I could stay here with you."
Shanah (pouting): "It's too bad I'll never learn about wild-crazy-sex, now."
Kirk: "Oh, I dunno, Shana. That Galt seems like a live one. Try shaking his apple tree, you might get something!"
Shanah (perplexed and sad): "What is apple tree? I still have many questions, but there is no time to learn."
Kirk: "Don't worry about it. Just keep your tits up. You'll do fine!"
Shanah: "It's hard to not worry. I worry about you. How is Provider Spock mean to you?"
Kirk: "Oh, Shanah, he makes me suck his cock all the time, and he gives really, really hard spankings. All the time it's suck, suck, suck, spank, spank, spank, and hardly any bondage at all, ever! He's a fucking ZEN MINIMALIST!"
Shanah (trembling): "That sounds terrible! What is spankings?"
Kirk: "Oh, Shanah, Shanah, SHANah! God! If only there were time, I'd love to teach you all about that, really I would!"
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WHAT WILL KIRK DO NEXT?