Because Spock was taught to manage his emotions by suppressing them, he never learned how to express emotions in a wholesome way. He has no method for harmlessly discharging negative emotions, so when they do come out on rare occasions they erupt violently and destructively.
His emotions don't go away, they just get repressed. Spock has many humanlike features to his psychology, but he is also Vulcanlike too. The plain truth is, neither what works for Vulcans nor for humans really works for him. Since there are no other human/Vulcans around to advise him he has to find his own way.
Spock has no homeland where he can go to and be surrounded with people like himself. He is an incredibly good sport about this. Spock is courageous in ways most of us can't imagine. Since he is such an unusual person, even the most trivial, everyday things are an adventure for him. Maybe he has confused instincts and he doesn't feel he can simply trust his gut. A huge part of his fantastic brainpower is probably occupied with studying himself and trying to predict his own behavior. His very personal reason for leaning heavily on logic may be that he has learned that his own base urges are unreliable.
He may suffer from a variety of unique minor complaints for which there is yet no name and no cure. He may experience emotions which are not identifiably Vulcan nor humanlike, for which there is no name and no appropriate outlet. Add to that the fact that he's a telepath, with a phenomenal memory, and you are talking about a guy who is coping with heaven knows how many other people's emotional spillover from God knows how far back. Bet that keeps him up nights, sometimes.
Spock has a very unusual body. He's stronger than humans, and can get by with less sleep, etc. too. His hearing is acute, and for all we know he sees things human eyes can't see too. So he has more hours in the day to take in information, and more senses to take it in with, plus he remembers everything. Bet he has lots of deep thoughts going on inside about all of this, huh?
What does he do for relief? Spock plays music for enjoyment, and he meditates, and he plays chess. He also seems to love his work. Guy's a workaholic. He's always on duty.
Is that enough? Of course not.
I think Kirk has seen that Spock has needs that aren't getting taken care of, and he volunteers to take care of them. Kirk is deeply interested in Spock. He honestly seems to like and admire him, although it's not obvious why. Kirk is not like Spock. They don't seem to have a lot in common. Yet they manage to forge this incredibly durable bond: a deeply devoted partnership that becomes the primary relationship for both of them.
What is Kirk's motivation? Why is he so intent on cultivating an intimate relationship with such a peculiar person?
Kirk must need Spock for something. Somehow they complete each other. But how? At first blush Jim Kirk doesn't really seem to need anyone to be complete. He is mentally and emotionally all there: a wonderfully healthy guy, with a sturdy body and an equally sturdy ego.
It's obvious to me why Spock needs Jim: Jim is a very definite personality who is as constant as the northern star. He's a very positive individual who is obvious about harboring very positive feelings for Spock. Kirk is a rock that Spock can cling to. Kirk accepts Spock and still loves him even when he loses it and is absolutely at his worst.
What's in it for Kirk? Well, he takes care of Spock, and Spock takes care of him. For one thing, Spock is a very powerful person who is possessed of some very unusual and valuable talents which happen to come in handy for Jim.
Kirk likes power, you may have noticed. Jim Kirk is ambitious. He thinks big, REALLY big! He sees the big picture all over the place and he wants to be the one to paint it. He seems determined to make a mark on history: to be immortal. He pretty obviously has decided to live as large as he can, to put no limits on himself. There's little he won't let himself dream of, and apparently there's nothing that he feels is not his business. If it's in his path, it's his business! But he knows you can't reshape the whole, huge galaxy without help...and Spock is a HUGE help!
But is that enough to explain it? No. The kind of deep devotion these two guys demonstrate for each other is not a mere alliance. It's pretty clear to me that much of what motivates them is their love for each other.
I like to think sex is involved, and the kinkier the better, but sex isn't the answer, it's just another piece of the puzzle. Sex probably would cause as many problems as it would solve for them.
How can they ever dream of having something like a normal relationship? Neither one of these guys is in any way normal. You don't take two spectacularly abnormal people, put them together, and come up with normal. Their relationship is probably very weird behind closed doors, by anybody's standards. I'll bet they do things when nobody is lookin' that NOBODY would understand if they were lookin', which is probably why they really don't want to talk about it. There's probably no words for some of it.
You want to talk about final frontiers, check out the space between those two hearts. That's where Spock's homeland is. It's the only place where either one of them is really at home.
As long as they are together, they are OK. Up to now, Starfleet is the only way they could be together, but is it the only way? I don't think so.
I hate the way they developed the characters post-TOS. I can't believe their talent, drive, love, and weird energy would be squandered like that. In my imagination they go off in a different direction completely, and wind up founding their own colony together, which I picture as a utopian social experiment that just blooms into something incredible. It would be a place where they could try out all their own ideas about how life should be, with the supportive assistance of an interesting mix of adventurous people.
I just can't agree with all these fanfic writers who can only see them as mere lovers, wallowing around in bed or in the dungeon as if they don't have worlds and worlds of more important things to do. I'm not saying they aren't having lots of kinky sex: I like to think that they are! ;) I just don't think it's at the center of their lives. What's exciting about their relationship is bigger than that.
All site contents Copyright L. Goodwin 1990 - 2002