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All heroes have a few basic virtues in common, but the rare ones, the truly great, are like one another in unusual ways. Case in point: Bugs Bunny and James T. Kirk. I know, at first blush it might seem as if they have nothing in common. One is a rabbit, one is a man; one lives in a burrow, one lives in a starship; one is an animated creature and the other is just hyperactive. Nevertheless, as I shall with this photo-essay demonstrate, they have an astonishing number of unusual things in common. To wit:

They both love being the guy in charge. Neither Kirk nor Bugs is hesitant to grab the reins of destiny and holler "gee-hup!". They'd rather be the boss than be anybody's lackey. They are not to be tampered with. You always know where you stand with guys like this. You are either fer 'em, and a pal, or you are agin 'em, and in a whole heap of trouble. They are adventurous, and enjoy encountering exotic characters. These fellows love to roam, and are not at all shy about meeting people. The ladies (hopelessly) love 'em! Both Bugs and Kirk seem irresistible to the opposite sex. Too bad they never stick around. Sorry girls. They are both winners, not losers. You bet on the right horse when you put your money on Bugs or Jim. These guys have both won many honors and awards, and not by accident, either. They are not easily intimidated. Both Kirk and Bugs are unafraid of enemies who are bigger and stronger. They know it's not how big you are, but how you use what you've got that really matters. They both know when to draw, and how to hold, the line. They both will bravely take a stand and stubbornly not budge an inch if the situation calls for it. They both often ask Doc what's up. Hee Hee. Sorry. Couldn't resist. Bugs and Kirk are both clever strategists. Life is like a game to these guys, a game they skillfully and creatively play to win. Nobody wins them all, but Bugs and Kirk will always cleverly confound their opponants and make them earn their victories the hard way. They both are chameleonlike. Both Bugs and Kirk often ingeniously adopt disguises to accomplish their goals, changing their appearance or playing roles to blend into the background or confuse their antagonists. They know how to make the best of a bad situation. Even when they are incarcerated or kidnapped, they stay sunny-side up and keep thinking positive. Or, maybe they are just kinky and enjoy being locked up...it's hard to tell. They are affectionate. Maybe too affectionate. Ok, yes, that's true, some of that does look a little funny. They both are (how to put this delicately?)... colorful characters. Sometimes their actions and choices are, frankly, inexplicable. Like the way Bugs always kisses men with guns, and the way Kirk asked Spock to stomp around on him while wearing Nazi boots...stuff like that. They are both just too adorable! Admit it, you can't help yourself. You try to hold back, but it's no damn good. Here they come, here comes trouble, and here it comes again, that warm, happy feeling: you just gotta love 'em! ISN'T THAT UNCANNY!?

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All 100% legal parody material presented here copyright 2001 L. Goodwin EXCEPT: STAR TREK IMAGES AND CHARACTERS WHICH ARE THE PROPERTY OF PARAMOUNT PICTURES (A VIACOM COMPANY), blah, blah, blah! This is for entertainment purposes only, and ~is so fabulous~ Paramount should thank me for it!