Laura "Sweetface" Klingon

Warrior
Empire, INC.

Claims to fame:
1. Once held Captain Kirk's head under water and laughed.
3. OK, I did it twice.
4. Perfected one true way to skin cat.

"I believe in facing the enemy instead of running from them. Alas,
all I usually see of them is their backs."

Current Projects:
* Implementation of Empire INC. interplanetary conquest initiatives. (Warrior, Surface Mayhem Div., Urban Terrorism Dept.).
* Administrate population management project (Overseer, Neutering Division).
Personal Interests:
+ Eating raw glass/crapping stained glass.
+ Tearing enemy's limbs off; relocating into their no-sunshine zone.
+ Needlepoint (under enemy's fingernails).


Contact Information:
Email: kirksmyboy@allyourtrekarebelongto.us
http://www.yeahright.com
Phone: (tin) can-strg

References available: come take them, if you can.

Seriously, here is all you need to know about Laura:

    NAME: Laura Goodwin
    LOCATION: Terra, North America, Connecticut
    URL: lauragoodwin.org
    OCCUPATION: Diva

    ACTIVITIES:

  • Dinosaur neutering
  • Bar-room clearing
  • Rabble rousing
  • Demon wrangling
  • Angel wrestling
  • Clanging her big, brass ovaries together really loudly.

BIO: Biologically she is human, female, has 3 offspring, and 1 male slave. She is vigorously healthy thanks to many years of simulating sex acts to disco music in public places. Anyone who underestimates her deserves undisguised mockery and a boot to the patoot. She intends to advance from merely annoying to fully insufferable, and to go on being insufferable for at least forty more years, after which she may be persuaded to think about slowing down. After death, she demands to be cremated and to have her ashes flung into her enemy's eyes.

Copyright L. Goodwin 2002

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